A sailor’s life at sea is full of engagements, adventure, danger, and a successful voyage requires skill, patience, and endurance, among other things. What always remains the same every time you get on that ship, however, are the people left behind. Families remain standing through months and in unfortunate events, years of sea travels because of the strong pillars left standing—women.
Strength of a seafarer’s wife
The importance of a seafarer’s wife can never be overlooked. Things are always different when both husband and wife live in the same house, and perhaps work within the same region. Distance, more often than not, sources challenges, especially since presence means a lot to a family setup. Many other challenges accompany the decision to be life partners with a seafarer, but service, at the end of the day, is a calling, and so is a dream to sail.
What would any seafarer think about when embarking on a sail? Many things can make it into thought, but family is one that covers all. It is never easy to work or travel with no news of how your family back at home is doing. How does a seafarer get through the day then, and from where do they get guarantees of a progressing family? A seafarer’s wife is the answer.
Women have always been the flames that keep the fire in families burning. Men like their efforts to be known, but women actually take the heavier loads. The weight remains with them for as long as a mariner is out at sea.
It begins with the sadness that hits as they watch a ship set out, the orange rays painting the horizon, the waves whipping the vessel away. Memories then follow, feelings of nostalgia, and the unfillable spaces. Going back to an empty house, or to kids, with the load of parenting heaped on for the next few months. Then what worries most—news of captivity, legal issues, or challenges at sea. There is always too much to handle for wives back at home.
- Loneliness
One of the greatest challenges that a sailor’s wife would face, therefore, is loneliness. Being with your spouse could fill your life with purpose since that is the person you chose to spend the rest of yours with. When a sailor is not around most of the time, the overwhelming feeling to their spouses is sadness, and the aforementioned nostalgia; seafarer’s wives are lonely. The amount of time spent out at sea can be a lot, surrounded by plenty of uncertainties.
- Children
But that is not the only difficult thing to get through daily. There could be kids to look after. Children are beautiful beings, but they can also be very difficult to handle for one parent. As they grow up, you may rub on each other’s backs a couple of times, before you’re on the same page. There is also more to do where children are involved, besides looking after/raising them; spending that time with them as the easily available parent becomes inevitable.
- Family & progress
While it could feel great to give them all the time in the world since children are just lovely, coupling that with providing and ensuring progression of the family makes things a lot more difficult for only the wife to handle. And yet a seafarer’s family will often remain standing throughout months of sails. It takes a lot to ensure that things remain stable in any family. Money and time are not the only factors that come into consideration. Couples that don’t have children can still feel the pressure from the absence of one partner. Daily errands, household or otherwise, are another cause for pressure whenever it’s just a mariner’s wife against time and duty.
- Uncertainties
It can also feel overwhelming to receive worrying news about a mariner when they’re miles away at sea. It may be captivity that keeps them in foreign lands even longer, which can leave wives devastated, with little or nothing to do. Sometimes, laws, disputes, and even raids can impose unforeseeable trouble or danger on a mariner. In such situations, it is indefinite when or if things get better.
- Onboard too!
It is not only in the land that a seafarer’s wife goes through challenges, however. Even when onboard ships, the expectations, protocols, drills, meals, and even timings imposed on your wife may feel tough. It is, nonetheless, regarded with much honor to be a mariner’s wife. The struggles are felt and respected.
Most expectations that come onboard are necessary and abided by everyone else; that includes a mariner, his wife, and even other crew members. Discipline is one of the expectations, and so is appropriate conduct. Appropriate conduct in this case involves:
- Addressing seniors right
- Keeping a low profile
- Limiting personal conversations
- Taking meals from the Chief Cook (not taking over cooking)
- Avoiding public display of affection
- Observing table manners and courtesies
More expectations include dressing suitably, observing on-board safety instructions, and acting responsibly always. All these are meant to grant a seafarer’s wife an easier and smoother time on board.
Final words
A seafarer is an individual like any other, who deserves a chance at happiness and family. Sad as it is, however, things do not always go as we would otherwise choose them to. We may fail to possess the power to change much, but watch, persevere, and hope that days get better. A seafarer’s wife understands much that not everyone would, and as a ship sets out to sea, it is best to remember that fuelling such greatness, is a woman who has been strong and courageous.
Indeed, much is required to be able to sleep through nights of not being with a spouse. A mariner’s wife understands it; how difficult it can be, explaining to children why they may have to wait longer before they can see their fathers, or why they can’t spend more time with them. As the sun goes down, however, and we wave our salutes, we remember the dedication of not only those brave soldiers, but their families, and most importantly, their wives, whose support, resilience, patience, and love are immeasurable.
